Great article, Emily! I think I try to keep a minimal amount of expectations toward myself. For example, when I spend genuine time with kids, I leave my phone to the side. Other than that, I've found that what works best is having no or minimal expectations and just going with the flow of the day and the kids' moods. Sometimes the universe surprises me; sometimes it doesn't!
Thank you so much, Aleks! I am trying to set my phone aside as well. It's hard, especially when I want to document everything they are doing, and I don't even post any of them on social media. It's weird to think about their lives as moments to be captured instead of just letting them be. I like the minimal expectations toward yourself approach! Thank you for reading.
Enjoy your littles having some "snow" with their waffles without regrets! How cute. I can't wait for the day that my son can sign things to communicate with me. You're doing such a great job. And now I'm going to take up having low expectations as well.
Cheniece, thank you so much! Signing has been a game changer for us. We've picked it up as we've gone along. It's such an intuitive language - I constantly find myself thinking OF COURSE that's the sign for this, it makes so much sense! I want to reiterate that we have not been very intensely focused on sign with lots of courses and rigor. We took an hour long four week course when my son was six months old and then have just continued to work things in. I don't want to put any pressure on you to have to do yet one more thing, I know what that can be like as a mother AND a mother of kiddos with disabilities. Thank you for reading! :)
I am all about low expectations. Thank you for the share! I am catching up after being away for spring break and then returning sick. So I have had really low expectations over the last couple of days.
Kathryn, thank you for reading. I think in some way your piece on mornings and coffee planted the seed for this piece. I am in Spring Break right now with the kiddos and we have nothing planned EXCEPT I am going to the Erma Bombeck Writer's Workshop for the next three days! I hope you are feeling better.
I think having no expectations is the key. I think if we have any need for things to go right our kids can somehow smell it and instantly work to make sure it doesn’t! It’s amazing when we can outsmart them isn’t it? 🙌🏻 oh and thank you for mentioning my post!
Kylie-Ann, I love your work and want others to know it so they can love it too. And yes, I think kids can smell fear/worry and expectations. Perhaps I can infuse NO MOMS WE ALL DIE merch with a repellant that hides the scent. We watch a lot of nature shows at our house and the survivalists are always spreading mud on themselves to avoid being eaten.
Oh I love this!!! My best days are always when I have zero expectations… I’m laughing at the zen mother reference though… I do not see that in myself at all… if you asked my husband he would probably choke on his coffee at the idea I was zen… 🤪 I am very very grateful for the mention though and love your honest writing, it makes me feel seen in my Mothering. I have insane expectations of what I can achieve… I think I still write my to do list based on pre children me… and of course that is always going to set me up for a big fat failure!! Xx
Tell him that other people think you are zen and use this as proof! You are most welcome, I have found such solace and beauty in your writing and love to pay it forward. I feel seen when I read your work! I also think I am going to take this little nugget about writing the to-do list based on pre-kid me and remember that when I am setting out on my day. That is totally what I do. Being aware is the first step, right?
Great article, Emily! I think I try to keep a minimal amount of expectations toward myself. For example, when I spend genuine time with kids, I leave my phone to the side. Other than that, I've found that what works best is having no or minimal expectations and just going with the flow of the day and the kids' moods. Sometimes the universe surprises me; sometimes it doesn't!
Thank you so much, Aleks! I am trying to set my phone aside as well. It's hard, especially when I want to document everything they are doing, and I don't even post any of them on social media. It's weird to think about their lives as moments to be captured instead of just letting them be. I like the minimal expectations toward yourself approach! Thank you for reading.
Enjoy your littles having some "snow" with their waffles without regrets! How cute. I can't wait for the day that my son can sign things to communicate with me. You're doing such a great job. And now I'm going to take up having low expectations as well.
Cheniece, thank you so much! Signing has been a game changer for us. We've picked it up as we've gone along. It's such an intuitive language - I constantly find myself thinking OF COURSE that's the sign for this, it makes so much sense! I want to reiterate that we have not been very intensely focused on sign with lots of courses and rigor. We took an hour long four week course when my son was six months old and then have just continued to work things in. I don't want to put any pressure on you to have to do yet one more thing, I know what that can be like as a mother AND a mother of kiddos with disabilities. Thank you for reading! :)
Haha, yes! Receiving that "one more thing" is brutal most of the time! I'm glad that someone else understands!
My dad saves those charity stickers too and mails them to my kids as a surprise once he’s collected a little stack!
Hooray for charitable grandpas!
I am all about low expectations. Thank you for the share! I am catching up after being away for spring break and then returning sick. So I have had really low expectations over the last couple of days.
Kathryn, thank you for reading. I think in some way your piece on mornings and coffee planted the seed for this piece. I am in Spring Break right now with the kiddos and we have nothing planned EXCEPT I am going to the Erma Bombeck Writer's Workshop for the next three days! I hope you are feeling better.
I think having no expectations is the key. I think if we have any need for things to go right our kids can somehow smell it and instantly work to make sure it doesn’t! It’s amazing when we can outsmart them isn’t it? 🙌🏻 oh and thank you for mentioning my post!
Kylie-Ann, I love your work and want others to know it so they can love it too. And yes, I think kids can smell fear/worry and expectations. Perhaps I can infuse NO MOMS WE ALL DIE merch with a repellant that hides the scent. We watch a lot of nature shows at our house and the survivalists are always spreading mud on themselves to avoid being eaten.
Thank you Emily!
Oh I love this!!! My best days are always when I have zero expectations… I’m laughing at the zen mother reference though… I do not see that in myself at all… if you asked my husband he would probably choke on his coffee at the idea I was zen… 🤪 I am very very grateful for the mention though and love your honest writing, it makes me feel seen in my Mothering. I have insane expectations of what I can achieve… I think I still write my to do list based on pre children me… and of course that is always going to set me up for a big fat failure!! Xx
Tell him that other people think you are zen and use this as proof! You are most welcome, I have found such solace and beauty in your writing and love to pay it forward. I feel seen when I read your work! I also think I am going to take this little nugget about writing the to-do list based on pre-kid me and remember that when I am setting out on my day. That is totally what I do. Being aware is the first step, right?
Thank you for reflecting all of that to me. It’s so appreciated. Absolutely on the awareness… it precedes change! Xx